Canadian customs

A few years ago Marc and I got interrogated as we tried to cross the Canadian border into the United States. We were driving back to the US with our dear friends Schoene and Rumi and were met with unfriendly American Border Patrol agents. They asked Marc and me a trick question. After stating our record indicated so, they asked us “Have you ever travelled abroad or to Pakistan within the last year?”

Thrown off by the Pakistan aspect, we both said no. The border patrol agent thought we were denying both parts of the question, which stood in contrast to our travels to England just a few months prior – a record of which, by the way, which was pulled from the magnetic strip on our state driver’s license (passports weren’t required at that time).

And so we were brought, separately, into a back room (literally!) to answer questions by the station’s captain. He was polite enough and once we sorted out the misunderstanding, they did a quick search of our car and we were on our way.

Anytime we’ve met with a Canadian customs agent, we’ve been impressed with their overall level of personality as well as their friendliness.  And so, as we pulled into the customs house just east of Glacier National Park, we wondered how our past experience would match  with the person we were about to meet.

We saw a man standing by another car. Once he was done asking them questions, he walked toward our car rather than wave us closer to him. He approached our door and asked how we are doing and I responded with the usual gesture of saying we’re good and returned the question..

“Ooooh, I’m a step above superb,” he said.

After a surprised laugh, I told him that I might have to steal that line. He then when through the usual round of questioning: Where ya goin’ eh? How long ya stayin’ there, eh? Where ya from, eh?

Accentuated by the accent, it was all so charming.

And then he got to THE question.

“Soooo whad’ya do back home for a livin’ in Chicago, eh?”

“Well, I’m unemployed so I look for jobs and he’s a nurse.”

All three of us gave a quick gasp of a chuckle.

“So we don’t like to let unemployed people into our country, how do I know you really are going to leave after those five days you said, eh?”

It was a side of the coin I hadn’t thought to look at. Without hesitation, I told him the semi-truth. That I had a job interview lined up for when I got back.  During the trip, I received a phone call, inviting me back to a second-round of interviews for a really fantastic organization. Since the first date proposed wouldn’t work out (since I would most likely be in Winnipeg then), they needed to check schedules for the following week.  So it was only a semi-truth in that the date hadn’t been settled yet, but the larger issue (that I did in fact have a job interview to be lined up AND that would serve as a reason for me to return home) was definitely true.

He nodded and then asked what it was that I did do when I was back home.

“I was a corporate philanthropist,” I told him. “So you can see…” I was going to say that you could imagine why I was laid off in these economic times. But he was quick and as soon as I said ‘corporate philanthropist,’ he let out an understanding chuckle.  He then let us on our way.

In retrospect, it might have been funnier to have just told him I really missed my dog and offer to show him pictures.